I'm not fat i have a medical condition ...............(insert choice condition here)

Today is your lucky day, I will give you 3 conditions to choose from. Infact you can use all 3 at rotational times and then feel better about yourself, so you can go and eat that yummy sandwich I just ate.

The first medical condition is HYPOTHYRODISM . If you say this one really fast, tilt your head slightly side ways, shrug a little and look sad, then you'll sound really smart and as if fate has cheated you of a chance of being thin.


This condition is caused by a dysfunction of your thyroid gland ( this gland  is found in your throat).

Your thyroid becomes inflamed and your immune system begins to damage the gland, leading to a decrease in the production of thyroid hormones. As a result, your metabolism decreases, which often leads to unexplained weight gain. Other symptoms of hypothyroidism include sensitivity to cold, depression, and brittle nails and hair.

next; POLYCISTIC OVARIAN SYNDROME. You need to say this one with a slight shake of your head, then press your lips together as if you're trying to fight back being sad.

This occurs due to a dysfunction of a woman's ovaries, leading to a hormonal imbalance, leading to weight gain and difficulty in loosing weight. [ I think I've got a bad case of this today...but I wont cry, I just wont!!]


and finally, PROLACTINOMA. You say the word, slightly suck in your top lip, bat your eyelids as you inhale, release your top lip and give that fake gracious smile whilst trying to change the subject.

Prolactinomas are non-cancerous tumors that secret the hormone prolactin and therefore also leads to weight gain and a lot of other unkind illnesses.

You should only really use PROLACTINOMA on your worst frenamie so you can watch them feel bad for mentioning your weight and confused at the same time.

It's pretty easy fooling people about a serious and real medical condition that makes you fat but rather hard to fool yourself. So when you're done lying to others and crying in corners because you hate the way you look, go be healthy and lose the weight. Don't aspire to be thin (that seldom happens or even lasts) aspire to be healthy and to love the way you look.

More info about conditions on www.livestrong.com