He cheated but i'm NOT leaving him....



That's one way to ensure that he keeps providing!!

 

We've seen many such cases in the media lately. High profile women who have worked and supported their husbands selflessly to get them into these executive positions and then the man cheats, at the office, with a junior!

It a global pandemic and I don't use the word pandemic lightly. Husbands who disregard their responsibilities ( looking after their families in all biological, psychological and social aspects) for selfish momentary indulgence; as if all that was given to him was not enough.

The sad and most frustrating part of it all is none of them have a straight or even logical answer as to why they did it! Temporary insanity; Somehow they think that's enough of a reason. Some are even self-centered enough to blame their actions on their wives and because (whether you accept this or not) we constantly need our husbands comments, approval and or appreciation of how we look or if we're doing okay; the minute this selfish &%#$@ says this, it sticks and we believe him and that's how we will see ourselves, as not enough. Sometimes he needn't even say it, by withhold an affection we need, we panic.

How much more painful and humiliating when all this happens in public. For everybody to judge and scrutinize your family? Then comes the expectation, "You should leave him. He's a dog. He doesn't appreciate all that you've sacrificed and done for him." and then the obviously hurt and depleted woman replies, " No, he's my husband. He made a mistake. I'm not leaving."

That takes immeasurable strength to look beyond your pain and stay the course. Strength I don't think I possess. Forgiving him means that this continues to be a marriage. How do you let him touch you with out wondering if this is how he touched her?! It creeps me out just thinking about it.

I like what Kristen Houghton writes in her article "Why women stay with cheating husbands."

http://articles.familylobby.com/543-why-women-stay-with-cheating-husbands.htm

She says "Some stay for religious reasons. They view marriage as sacred, a union sanctified by God. Others stay for the sake of their children. Still others make this decision because of the length of years they have spent with their spouse. Then there are those who have a love deep enough to forgive and go forward together. Whatever the reasons, infidelity is not always an automatic step towards divorce."

I especially like the last sentence "..., infidelity is not always an automatic step towards divorce." Nice words, easy words, excruciatingly hard to action but doable.

The amount of pain that an affair causes, regardless of how brief it was, is almost physical.

Hillary Clinton explains her initial shock in her memoir "Living history" - ""I could hardly breathe. Gulping for air, I started crying and yelling at him, 'What do you mean? What are you saying? Why did you lie to me?' I was furious and getting more so by the second. He just stood there saying over and over again, 'I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I was trying to protect you and Chelsea." My question would be , how do suppose lying protects us? Things worked out for them, which is great.



And then there was Crous, who cheapened himself by sleeping with a girl who is most openly a glorified prostitute. She is known and doesn't mind stating that she only sleeps with men who have money for that money!! Primrose stayed with him.



And now Vavilicious Zwelinzima Vavi!! As if the world is no hard enough (izwe linzima..get it) , he is then quoted, after apologizing to South Africa and his family, “I want to take full responsibility. It is my error. I deserve all that I am being subjected to. “I can only plead for understanding. Never did I present myself as faultless. I am fallible… I’m not going to claim this is the last time I will make mistakes,” 

" Forgive me South Africa, pweetty pwease."

http://www.iol.co.za/news/politics/vavi-and-his-wife-speak-out-1.1557187#.UgM88TD8LIU

Hhe? What does he means "...I'm not going to claim this is the last time I will make mistakes"? Papa we are not talking about your political mistakes here!! We are talking about your penis mistakes!! So you can't apologize, ask us to trust you as our leader but sort of tell us to hold thumbs as you might do it again. Mxhm!
Nowadays we live in a society that's drowning in various sexually transmitted diseases some of which are incurable. So do you think that during their supposed "temporary insanity" they are cautious to use protection?